look upon..

look upon..


Saturday, July 10, 2010


from the birth
me started loving..
my mum, dad
brother, sisters,
my grandma,
the places me gone
with my parents,
the picnics,
the tours,
the hotels,
their fights,
school trips,
my first girl friend,
the poem me wrote for her,
my college,
the lonely library,
all my lecturers - their lectures
my minute study of their studies..
the cycle trip of 7 km to college,
the ice creams me shared with my friends,
the tour of colleges,
first visit of Tajmahal,
prayer for her at (heart!) – a temple
the various film directors,
their various styles of narration,
story writers,
music directors,
the trips to grandma's house,
the first love movie –
first job,
the tearful separation from home..
first salary,
first minor chain,
first moustaque,
for the first time -
received the marriage invitation of her..
came back to home town..
the new friends..
practicing basket ball,
basket ball tournaments,
playing cricket,
cricket tournaments,
met a small kid running
before me and my friend at an exhibition..
me just calling her - "hi"
and took her on my arms..
"where is ur mother?"
SHE stood,
me just place down the kid
and left - the last look..
just the death of dear one..
a big resolution to move away
from home town..
and went away - wild..
no job security..
no need..
just know - how to work?
wandered in the vast world..

a marriage
and a kid!
a run away to a different state..
different language,
different people,
nothing known..
all unknown..
sincere - work..
that alone - the knower of the hour..
learned new studies..
a bit of dedication - everyone called..
no.. that alone me know..
a lot of interesting places..
me enjoyed those places..
a lone help - playing basketball..
another lone help of a little heart..
life is moving fast - but me tied it in my wrist..

again searched for a new job..
a small consolation by god..
nothing turned back by me.
just run with big leaps..

just just came across one another love..
me just forgot every thing..
me nvr want to repeat anything again..
still that marriage invitation is with me..
but my suppression of love so long explode..
me more matured as the pain given by life,,
me more childish - on came across her..

me again enjoyed the long forgotten music,
long ago forgotten readings,
life became more easy for me,
till she left..as usual..

me tried to relate with everything..
relate with the mother earth,
day sun,
beautiful moon,
the vast sky,
stars - those winking on my mother earth,
the winds,
the trees,
the bushes,
the flowers,
the honey bees,
the butterflies,
the squirrels,
the dogs,
the beautiful cuckoo,
those peacocks, minas everything..

lost my dad..
who introduce me all those things..
my love..

again lost interest..
again become alone in the vast world..
everybody now calling even our love too as obligation..
but how it would be?
no.. its not an obligation..
its the flowering of the heart..

the jealous,
the emotions,
the fights,
the forgets,
the ignoring,
just iron my heart
without any wrinkles..

from the birth me started loving..
nvr learn – how to hate.


the life after passing so much of places
may concave on a particular point
at some times..

so much concentration on those particular points
in the vast world..

what is the excess of love over death -
though the both are the concentration of us on a particular point..
there is some excess..
some excess..
in love over death..


playing with
one’s own soul and with the other..
just so madly..
just with joy,.
just with fun..
that point then flow like a endless vertical line – become so big..
just the playfulness – make u to be so near to u..